Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2008, see ya!

mood: thoughtful thoughtful
music: the flaming lips - do you realize

so... it's been another year.. and it's had a lot of ups and plenty of downs.. we've lost and gained and with everything.. those of us left standing.. will go on.

the beginning of this year was surreal.. it seemed that everywhere i looked or turned someone's life was being lost.. i couldn't believe it. but it of course makes you put your own life into perspective.. tomorrow isn't promised. make sure the people you care about know how you feel. because it's your family, as in family and friends, those one that are left behind that must deal with unanswered questions.

but 2008 also brought a lot of joy.. my friends are seriously blessed.. marriages, kellianne and my sister, and babies, JD and danni.. their families are expanding and it's wonderful.. i wish you all the best in the new year..

bonds were strengthened.. mainly in part, thanks to twilight.. but it was just a catalyst.. i now have 4 friends who i am even closer with because of that book along with all the other interests that we have in common. so thank you twilight and thank you BCBers just for being you.. i love you girls..

casey and i came close to getting our own place.. but at the "2nd out of the ninth inning we called the game".. which in the long run is the best decision we could have possibly made. thankfully we're not being forced out of our place now. so our need for a new place isn't as dire as some.. we still have the luxury of waiting for the right opportunity.

oh casey.. the man of my life.. most of the time we are a steady stream.. but we have our moments where we are a raging torrent of waves. thankfully we mesh well enough that it blows over within a day.. if that. he told me something on sunday before our 'raging torrential silent argument' that pretty much made my year. and next year too, hopefully. we'll just have to see.

so.. i have to work tomorrow night and ring in the new year with a bunch of strangers again.. but thankfully casey will make his midnight appearance for my new year's smoocharoo..

i wish you all a wonderful and safe new years.. love you all..

Sunday, December 21, 2008

how could i forget?!!?

Mood: good good
Music: nada..

so.. i had kc read my blog about the celery/cilantro bit just to show him how insane i am.. and he ended up scrolling down and seeing my wolverine post.. he turns to me and says.. "what? no gerard butler?" i gasped.. i can't believe i forgot about my beloved scottish man!!! how dare i?!!?

so.. for my enjoyment more than yours.. :) a picture of the yummy gerard butler.. just because he's freakin' rough looking and that. is. sexy.

also for my amusement.. because as much as i liked his hair longer.. i really like it short.. :) especially with that freakin' scruff...

and on a side note.. flat boxes are really freakin awkward to carry.. that's all i'm saying..
ok.. bye!

you moved the tea!!!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

3 posts in one day..

please someone.. find me a life.. i'm scared for myself..

so.. besides posting three times in less than 6 hours.. i went to mollie stones because i was hungry and didn't want to get quiznos with casey's mom.. but mollie's happens to be right next door.. so i skedaddled my tush on over to the overpriced semiorganic foods store and paid for an overpriced bag of prechopped romaine mix because i love me some salad and apparently will pay any price to get it..

now over the past few months, i have come to the realization that celery is not the evil vegetable i had told myself it was while growing up. i actually like it now, and will willingly snack on a few sticks without someone forcing me to or on a dare.. (seriously.. a dare.. what a waste.. but when i was younger, i probably would have said truth just to get out of taking a bite of one.. bleah. no. more. :) )

so i went to mollie's, picked up my bag o' green.. (get it, because i paid a lot of money too.. double meaning. ) and i bought some celery as well. shocking.. i know.

i used to pick celery out of everything.. or at my most extreme not eat the dish or whatever because there as celery in it.. but not anymore.. veggies in soup are good too! i like when the veggies are soft but not mush... ick..

moving on..

my kryptonite.. cilantro... dees-gus-ting! for me anyway... it ruins all tastes in a food for me.. and that's if i actually end up eating whatever it is.. usually i just pass or try to get the whatever made without this food ruiner of an herb.. or whatever cilantro is classified as.. and the worst part.. my dad absolutely LOVES it.. ick!! i can't even stand in the kitchen with cilantro out of the grocery bag.. the smell is just too potent..

i often get cilantro mixed up with flat leaf parsley... i'm sad at all the foods i may have passed up because i thought that the leaves of the flat leaf parsley may have been cilantro.. so i said.. "no ma'am." such is life.. of a picky eater i guess.
now.. onto the real reason for my post.. again.. as always.. random ramblings and i feel sorry that i subject you guys to this.. but not enough to stop posting. :)

i bought that thingy of celery.. well it was celery hearts or whatever.. i don't know.. it's the first time i've ventured into buying it... anyway.. so i open up the bag.. and what smell do i get smacked in the face by!?!? you'll like this.. it'll make you laugh. or not.. i think it's funny.. well either funny or just my luck.. but seriously.. i open it up.. and the smell of cilantro just engulfs my face.. and i hold back a gag.. "wtf?!?!! oh hell no...i wouldn't be able to eat celery if it smells like cilantro.. this can't be!!! what is happening with my mind, how could i have missed that?!" <-- those are all thoughts running through my head as i contemplate throwing the whole package out the window and taking a shower to get the ick off of me.. but.. thankfully.. my mind has not failed me and celery doesn't smell anything like cilantro.. it's just the bag?!!? what the hell is that about!? god or someone watching over me must just be laughing their pants off, thinking 'well.. she's giving celery a shot.. might as well jump on in with the cilantro also.. ' and i say to that..
NEVER!!!! cilantro is my enemy!! DO NOT WANT!!!

so yeah.. i swear this post was funnier in my head.. maybe i shouldn't have waited so long after the fact to post it.. oh well.. my god i'm rambling tonight.. jd.. thank your stars that i didn't blow up your phone with text messages about this! never ending.. ok.. i'm out.. sorry again.. i bore..

amused amused
Music: none.. just the incessant ramblings of my mind.. which i have just laid forth on all of you!

jd.. you are chagrinning my dazzle..

mood: Photobucket chagrinned

why?! why do you throw the "schm" joke to my FOTM (fanfic of the moment).

well. scotch, schmotch.. meh.. that didn't work.. but yes.. it's good like scotch is good.. possibly better because there isn't lemons.. as much.. well.. there aren't lemons in scotch really.. and if there is.. it's just starting.. but wide awake is more about the friendship between these two broken people that have nothing in common with everyone else.. but find everything in the other person.. does that even make sense???

bah! it's just good.. so read the shit out of it! because it's worth it!

ok.. damn it.. i fangirled again.. i am chagrinned at myself.. annoyed

best statement ever!!!!!!

mood: Photobucket Happy

so.. casey's brother comes into the room while i'm on my blog looking at JD's newest comment on my wolverine post..

well.. i'm scrolling down just enjoying the view of my sexy post with all the hot men and their gorgeousness... umm.. what was i saying?? oh yes.. casey's brother.. well he is looking over my shoulder and sees the eric bana picture.. and he goes 'oh hey.. he kinda looks like casey."

the smile on my face.. i love that statement!! casey does have an eric bana quality about him.. bwahahaha.. that sounds so funny! but yeah.. why?!? why?!? why do i fangirl like this?!!? why?!

and jd.. so.. you like my new banner, do you?! bet you don't really understand what it means though.. what with the whole oddly placed cookie about and whatnot.. !?!?

well.. fanfiction.. it rules my life.. that's all i'll say until you jump on the bandwagon and read wide awake..<---- click it.. you know you want to!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wolverine: nice doggy..

Mood: Photobucket giddy
Music: Casey's watching 2 1/2 men again.


my love for hugh jackman stems from my sister i think. she told me about this guy in Xmen and he looked sexy.. so i gave a look. and that was it for me. hugh jackman is the ultimate sexy man for me.

click that link.. May 1st, 2009 is the date i'm looking forward to.. i am dragging casey to watch this movie so he can sit beside me and give me sideways glances as i drool and fangirl all over hugh jackman and all his manliness.

can i just say... i wasn't sure of taylor kitsch as gambit.. even though he was the one character that i have been waiting for since 2000 when the first xmen movie came out.. but.. hello..

he might be alright. :)

and hi, ryan reynolds and liev schreiber.. can i please have 2 hours of man candy.. yum.. freakin'.. o...

and because hugh jackman could quite possibly be the man of my dreams..

hello arms.. hello facial hair.. hello hair.. hello hello..

can i just.. ok... thanks..

wait a minute.. i forgot about my beloved eric bana.. he's not in Wolverine, but who cares!!
jd told me before that if i needed to describe my dream man.. it would be basically eric bana.. so.. hugh and eric.. just.. yum..

really.. this blog was just so i could gratuitously post pictures of hot men. :) you guys don't mind... do you??

ok.. /end fangirl moment..

the real man of my dreams!the hair.. the facial hair.. oh how i miss it.. at least he's got his arms and his hazel / green / brown eyes.. and you know i'll love him either way.. :) but i'm still trying to convince him to grow his hair out again..

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

it just makes me giggle..

mood: goofy giggly
music: Smoke On the Water

that. is. all.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Parties can't even keep me awake!

I'm bartending.. And I'm so bored my eyelids are drooping. No
really... It's like yawn after yawn and then almost nodding off!

I'll give it to the "DJ" (and I put it in quotations because he's just
a guy sitting at a mixer with speakers. I think last year they had an
iPod hooked up to speakers playing on shuffle, but I digress), he
played Kelly clarkson's My Grown Up Christmas List twice which made me
smile! And then it ended and I went back to nodding off.

Oh yay! They're starting to dance now.. Nope, still not enough to keep
my interest. I hate when I count down the minutes until I can close.
The best parties are the ones where the first time I get to look at
the clock it's already 10:30. This is not one of those parties...

They're not dancing anymore.. I think it's because the "DJ" had the
nerve to play Shake Your Bon Bon. I would have skeedaddled off the
dance floor too! That is if by some miracle I actually made it to the
dance floor. KC makes fun of me for my interval dancing. You might be
thinking, 'why valerie.. What in the world is this interval dancing in
which you speak!?'

Interval dancing is me only dancing to the beat a few seconds at a
time because I'm so self conscious about the people around me on the
dance floor. Even though I know in the back of my head that they
couldn't possibly be paying attention to me anyway because they're
dancing themselves. Nevertheless.. I keep to my interval dancing.
Loser. I know.

But obviously, this blog is just me rambling on and on because typing
on my iphone is keeping my eyelids up. And I apologize for any typos,
I really just don't have enough energy to spare to go back and read
through this.

So... new Moon. Summit wants to recast Jacob Black. Whatcha guys think
of that? And if they do.. Who do you think would be a good person to
cast? I am in love with all things Steven Strait. But he is a little
too old looking.

Dammit! You know what pisses me off.. When people bring in their own
alcohol into these parties. I mean really?! What am I even doing out
here then? Why did I come in an hour early to set up? And why is there
a fucking liquor store display behind me if you're going to bring your
own damn liquor, you fucking cheapskate!

Sorry. I was just thinking about that. I think someone at the far table
has some shit under their table... AGAIN! Yes again.. They were asked
to GTFO with their illicit alcohol under the table earlier.

Anyway, so yeah, steven strait is yummy goodness! Have you seen the
Covenant and all the man candy in that movie!? It's insanity!!

Umm.. I'm sad to end this blog now.. But I will surely fall the hell
asleep in my ice bucket when I do.. But I guess I must.. Because I'll
be incredibly surprised if you guys were actually able to keep up and
read all the way through my incoherence and psychotic ramblings. Okey

Oh wait! I forgot.. I've been meaning to post this... Danni, I think
you were the only one that might remember this. My first year at ACU.
When my sister came to visit for my birthday.. Do you remember me going
into my monologue about my eating disorder. I don't know if Lanessa
reads my blog or not, but I went into this spiel where I was going to
go into Tiel and Dana's office one day in tears and confess to them of
my eating disorder. Something how I eat all the time because I have
reverse anorexia. I eat all the time because I just think I'm too
skinny. Oh my god! I had Lanessa in tears. That was some funny shit!

Ok really. I'm out now. To take an ice cold face plant into my ice
bucket. Bleah.

You moved the tea!!!!!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

it's really just to make you giggle..

Music: KC's watching Christmas With The Kranks
Mood: good Good

so.. these aren't mine.. AT ALL.. i don't know how to make gifs nor do i own a program to do such.. but i wanted to post them anyway because they made me giggle.. so.. i bring these here to share the giggle. :)





for that itch you just can't seem to reach..

carlisle's college days..

for jd because she loves her some James McAvoy

oh jim...

because twilight owns our life!

because bella is horny!

the hales are hot!

and twimoms are pretty scary!

now.. tell me you didn't smile..

btw.. sorry if i hecka slowed your computer down!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thank you for the music...

Music: Twilight.. of course..
Mood: awake Awake but so ready to pass out..

so.. today was thanksgiving.. and i have a lot to be thankful for... i have a wonderful family a great circuit of friends and so much love in my life.. i feel like i'm bursting with it sometimes.

my sister had to go to work this afternoon so casey and i went over to my parents house early this year.. which was insane, since usually my family has their dinners around 9 or 10... one time we sat down for dinner on new years eve right as the ball was dropping.. but i helped my mom cook and my whole family was there.. at it was really nice. we are almost never all together like that anymore.. especially since casey and i got married. i don't make it down to redwood city quite as often as i should anymore.

casey's family didn't make a big to do about the holiday. not this year anyway.. it's too difficult for everyone. this day last year.. casey's family came over and we had a homerun derby at the park down the road.. it was really fun to have us all together like that.. and now.. it'll never be like that again.. and it's kind of like a dark cloud over everything now.. but i really believe that lindsey would have wanted them to celebrate.. this was her absolute favorite time of the year.. so it's going to be really hard for his family this upcoming month..

but i don't vocalize how much i'm thankful for.. and i definitely want them all to know.. i even gave my brother a hug today.. and if you know how our relationship is.. eeps.. hugs are like non existent.. but it was nice.. i don't express my love for my family enough.. i turn things into sarcastic remarks and cut down on them.. but really. i love them more than anything. we have a strange dynamic, from the outside, it might seem like we are crass to one another.. but really it's all love. from the looks of irritation all the way down to the nicknames we've given each other.. it's all in good fun.. most of the time. :P

and i'm incredibly thankful for my friends, my four incredible friends.. we've kind of been bound together by twilight which makes me even more thankful for twilight.. we lost a little contact after we went our separate ways.. but twilight has brought us back into a tight little circle.. and i couldn't begin to express how good it is to call you girls my friends and kindred spirits.

and for the man in my life.. the one that makes my days brighter, even when we argue.. i couldn't have asked for a more perfect guy for me.. we compliment each other in the best ways.. and thank goodness i found him when i did.. or else.. i'd probably still be single. :)

and because i love them.. :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

it has come to my attention...

Music: Twilight Score.. Win!
Mood: Grumpy grumpy

it has come to my attention that a certain half shih tzu half pomeranian thinks that he is better than a certain scraggly shih tzu that is in my care. this both saddens and annoys the hell out of me!

This Man-Faced Dog right here thinks that he is better than my adorable grungy little penguin faced Stewie.

As quoted from Morty's representative, a one Kathleen Malkinson,

"Mortimer Ebenezar Esquire will be joining you guys for Thanksgiving dinner but he too is concerned about Tui's hygiene. Please see to it that he shakes off his fleas before he attempts to approach Mortimer Ebenzar Esquire Malkinson. Mortimer Ebenzar Esquire Malkinson is also concerned that Tui will try to share water with him. This is not acceptable behavior and it is up to you to make sure a respectable distance is kept between Mortimer Ebenzar Esquire and said mongrel. Many thanks for your cooperation and of course, Happy Thanksgiving =)"

this Mortimer Ebenezar.. Pssshhhaaa!! and Esquire?!?! Honestly?? this Chewbacca wanna-be thinks he's a decendent from Royalty. He thinks he's a Blue Blood where as Stewie would just be considered Blue Collar.

Well, "Mortimer Ebenezar" , Stewie has one thing to say to you .....

"Shush yo face! I'm gonna pee on your bed! You better watch your back and sleep with one eye open!"

Monday, November 24, 2008

silence! i kill you!

Music: Las Palmas - Bethany Joy Lenz, Christmas Canon - Transsiberian Orchestra

Mood: content content

so.. for anyone that doesn't know what the title means, obviously hasn't seen Jeff Dunham's stand up. he's the guy that plays with puppets.. he's the only puppetteer that i can watch. his "friends" don't freak me the hell out!

so.. i'm sitting in the living room, with my laptop and headphones in because casey and his brother are watching jeff dunham on blu-ray. and i swear the only reason i'm sitting here is because i love hearing casey laugh. he never laughs like this.. like serious laughing. it's adorable. the only times i see him laugh like this are when he's watching stand up or when he's with his family. usually when he laughs at me, it's more because i'm exasperating or he thinks i'm being cute. even if i'm not the cause of it. i still love seeing him like this..

so.. thursday is thanksgiving.. and my mom asked if stewie was coming.. and of course he's going to come with, i wouldn't leave for a holiday and not bring my Tu'i face. then she asks me if he's going to get a bath before he comes over. and i'm like.. "no! and he's going to sleep on your bed!" now keep in mind that my dog right now looks like a freakin' walking piece of gross smelling fur, because casey's other dog loves to use stewie as a chew toy. it's irritating. i will give him a bath and then in a few hours he'll smell like dog spit again.. bleah!

but yeah.. he's my baby.. and yeah.. this post had NO real reason. but i wanted to post something.. i'm supposed to go to see twilight sometime soon with casey, we'll see when that actually happens... he seems excited to see it.. me too.. but that's because i didn't get enough of emmett the first time around. :)

also.. my sister said that i had too many animations on my blog.. sorry.. i'll stop adding them.. she hurt my twilight heart.. :o/

have a great week!

You moved the tea!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

i can't concentrate....

Music: Pachelbel - Canon In D
Mood: frustrated Frustrated and Aggravated aggravated

for some reason.. i seriously cannot concentrate on anything today.

i'm thinking it's because of tonight.. but i wasn't even this whacked out the day before my wedding.. well no.. i take that back.. the day before my wedding i actually broke down and finally cried. i cried because of all the emotion that was building up in me. casey was like "WTH?? are you okay?" and i'm like yeah.. it's just about time that i finally let the emotions run out of me.. and of course.. it was crying like a blubbering child 5 minutes before the camera crew got there to interview casey and i about the wedding.. what a freakin' crazy disaster..

but yeah.. so i digress.. it's a different kind of feeling. although.. Pachelbel is making it easier to relax.. that's why i love classical music.. just listening to the different instruments coming together to make something so beautiful and meaningful.. it's amazing.. when i go to the symphony, it's more to watch the instruments than listen to them. i'm enthralled by the amount of talent and passion that musicians have for their craft.. it's amazing..

i don't know what's up with me.. i should be happy.. today has been a really good day.. casey is really the best person in the world for me.. there's no question about that.. he makes me feel loved ...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

what is there to say....

Music: Sheryl Crow - My Favorite Mistake
Mood: Photobucket Annoyed and Discontent Photobucket

what do you do when someone you know is just having one of those days where they can do nothing but tear up.. and when they look at you with those teary eyes and try and plaster a watery smile on their lips, what do you do? there is nothing you can do for them... how do you handle that?? well i'll tell you how i handle that...

i sit there.. with a blank look.. i completely freeze up.. i don't know how to comfort anyone. it doesn't come naturally to me to be overly touchy except for with casey and that's only because of who he is to me.. i'm an awkward hugger. i listen okay. even though i pride myself on being a great listener.. my mind wanders when people talk to me. my mind is easily distractable. i'm inappropriate and clumsy.

but no matter how volatile the relationship with the person.. i still feel awful that i can't console them or even say comforting words. i end up saying something crass or untoward.. which only puts more strain on the conversation and situation. i can't help it.. it's a defense mechanism. what i'm defending against i have no idea. but it's how i deal. either i'll close up and distance myself from any and everybody or i'll become the one that is so inappropriate it's laughable.. usually it's the former.. and i can't help it.. i'm awkward and misunderstood..

for someone who wants kids as badly as i do.. it's unnerving to know that i can only comfort one person in my life.. how is that maternal? how does that fair for my future PossibleChildren?


Saturday, November 1, 2008

the obsession continues....

would you guys think less of me, if the next time we all got together to hang out i busted this out???

tee hee... i'm just kidding.. i probably won't get it.. probably..

you moved the tea!!!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

twilight phenomena

so it's not like we didn't know that twilight was a crazy phenomenon..

but i was at work on saturday night bartending for what happened to be my favoritest party i've ever worked.. it was a quinceneara.. and i was pouring some of the girls a virgin margarita.. which really isn't even worth it if you think about it.. it's just lime juice and sweet and sour mix with ice.. i guess they just wanted to take advantage of the open bar.. even though they were talking about drinking already.. which unnerved me.. i mean, you're 15.. and you're drinking already?? i didn't even have a sip of something alcoholic when i turned 21.. but i guess i'm a little different.. but i digress...

anyway.. so i'm making these "fake" drinks for these girls so they can feel older, i guess.. and one of them starts talking to her friend about this show on HBO called True Blood and i just start grinning like a freakin' crazy person.. she's telling her friend the premise of the show, like the girl who can read minds falls in love with a vampire.. and she goes "oh my god.. this is such a rip off of twilight." and i almost laugh out loud.. and while she's talking i just kind of turn slightly and go.. "like twilight??" and point to my book sitting on the table behind me.. bwahahhahaa.. and then they go.. "aww... twilight.. i love that book.. " and i'm just grinning.. because i love that it's so popular.. i understand that there is a whole decade between me and them.. but i don't give a damn.. because the story of twilight transcends all generations.. :)

and that's my story..

Friday, October 24, 2008

eeps!!! i'm so excited!!

so for those of you that really know me.. you know i get obsessive.. and well.. twilight is my obsession right now..

in almost exactly 27 days, the twilight movie is getting released in theatres and i swear.. i'm seriously giddy.. i haven't been this giddy on the inside since my wedding day waiting to walk down the aisle.. and then water works started. but that's neither here nor there.. the point it.. i can't wait!!

i just saw a tv spot for twilight on youtube and oh my goodness gracious.. this movie could own my soul if i let it.. and i probably would.. but i'm kind of attached to it.. but for now.. with an exception to casey.. it owns my every waking second.. :)

ok that's all.. fangirly time.. over.. for now..

Thursday, October 23, 2008

it's all for something...

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support... to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe in it because it is real. But, only for a SEASON. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people anyway, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. Some people come into our lives and quickly go, some people become friends and stay awhile leaving beautiful footprints in our hearts and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!

how much do you love that???

i stole it from my sister's best friend's blog.. and i identified with it.. and felt every word that was written..

thanks for letting me snag it joh.. even though i didn't really wait for a response. :P

although, it kind of puts my last post into perspective.. maybe i was just supposed to see that she was doing fine and she's got a family and she's healthy and doing well. i guess i'll just have to believe that.. even though reason and season friends are "gone" from your life.. you don't ever really forget them..

everything that happens in life will invariably leave some sort of imprint on you.. believe me i know.. but.. it's how you come out of the situation that matters and who you have with you at the end of it that will define, reason, season or lifetime...

i love all my girls!! BCB for life! bwahahahaha..

Saturday, October 18, 2008


so.. have you ever had one of those encounters where you just glance around and see someone and you think they're a person you might have known but it's been so long since you've seen them that they look completely unchanged and utterly different all at the same time.. well it happened to me today..

i think i "saw" a friend from high school who of course was in a grade ahead of me as all my close high school friends were except for casey.. well.. after she graduated she went on to san diego state and then ended up getting pregnant and having a baby boy.. we lost contact, which sucked because my junior year she became one of my closest friends.. she knew pretty much everything about me.. things i've only told like a handful of people.. and she told me things about herself as well, like how she felt when her parents divorced and what kinds of things she was going through with that.. we were confidantes and buddies.. she was one of the popular people.. the beautiful people.. but she still chose to be my friend.. which was cool.. not that i wanted to be popular by association.. i hate the spotlight.. it's not where i'm comfortable.. she took the glory, while i stood on the sidelines where i liked to be.. we still had a solid friendship.. we were the girl jocks.. we became friends the year before when i made the varsity basketball team as a sophomore.. but after high school once you graduate or when you're left behind in my case.. things change and life moves on.. i started dating casey and she went on with her life.. friendships strain.. we just kind of lost contact...

anyway.. so i went out shopping with casey's mom this morning and we went to the grocery store.. and as we're leaving, we're putting the crap in the back of her jeep.. i look over to the right.. for no real reason.. but i see this woman stepping out of her van.. and she smiles at me.. and the first thing i was thinking was.. "wow.. she looks a lot like natalie.. " and i was kind of just stuck.. something fell out of the jeep as i lifted the hitch and casey's mom was like '' wtf??" and i'm still stuck.. this is a friend that i have had minimal contact through throughout the last 8 years, a few phone calls every few years and in the beginning penpalling back and forth.. and i swear it's her.. but it doesn't look like her.. but it must be because it's her.. but she looks so different.. but she's got the same face.. and she smiled at me.. so she must have recognized me a little.. but i don't know.. it's just weird.. i wanted to shout out to her and ask if she was who i thought she was.. she had a thuggish sort of husband.. and that's how i remember him being described, and she has a son who was about the age he should be... but she also had a daughter.. and i vaguely remember hearing that she had another kid.. i couldn't remember if it was a boy or girl though..

but yeah.. she got her baby girl and her husband got her son.. and they started walking to the store... and i was still standing there.. blindly piling away groceries.. because i felt like i missed a chance to say something.. i should have said something.. a missed opportunity to reconnect with an old friend, even just to say "hi.. how are you?"

i don't know it's all very strange.. she was as close to me as kelly was at the time.. if not possibly closer.. and i couldn't even make the words come together to say hi.. it's weird.. i sat in the car while we drove the 5 minute drive back home and i kept thinking about high school. about the friends i had.. and about casey.. and then i realized.. casey is the only friend i have left from high school.. and that's only because i married him.. what if i hadn't gotten married to my high school sweetheart.. what if i were going back to my high school reunion in 3 years and didn't have anyone to reconnect with.. if it weren't for casey.. i would have more luck reconnecting with the 2000 class than my own..

but i don't really know what this post was about.. i just kinda wanted to get it off my chest because it was starting to plague me.. i should have at least said hi.. but besides the smile.. she didn't regard me either... so i could just let it go.. it might not have been her..

it made me miss the friends i have now..

i love you guys..

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

i've been tagged..

so.. apparently i have to follow this..

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Write six random thoughts about yourself
4. Tag six or so people at the end of your post
5. Let each person know he or she has been tagged
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted

Six random things about me:
1. i have an irrational phobia of milk. i can't drink it at other people's houses and i hate when it's anywhere but in a cup or bowl.. if it's on skin, it just makes me cringe.

2. all three formal dresses i've ever worn, for junior prom, senior ball and my wedding gown have all had midnight sexy blue on it.. big surprise..

3. when i find something that interests me.. i will do internet research until there is nothing else to know about it.. usually movies or celebrities.. twilight for example.. i can't stop staring at my blog header... it just makes me smile!!!!

4. I know exactly where Kelly Clarkson was the day Britney Spears shaved her head *sigh* yeah yeah.. i know.. it's creepy.. i also know that she was in new jersey for the live earth concert on my wedding day, 7.7.07, so it would have been pointless to ask her to come and sing for us.. although had i been more imbalanced.. i probably would have..

5. sometimes.. when i look at casey and the sun hits his face just right.. i swear he has golden eyes, just like twilight.. i'm not kidding..

6. i have a 1 in 8 chance of having a baby with blue eyes.. i kinda hope it's 1 or 2.. i don't think i'd have it in me to have 8 kids for one to have blue eyes.. bwahahah.. no really.. i'd settle for one at this point..

btw.. danni.. did you ever get my hecka random text???

tag suckas!--
and JD already did it.. :P

Monday, October 13, 2008

happy things...

as if i didn't have enough things to smile about today.. i love my new banner... :) it just makes me so smiley!!! and it's even better because i stayed up until 1 am touching up this and lightening up that... and this is the finished work.. and i'm pretty darn proud of it!!

and on top of that.. they released the running time for twilight, which is going to be 30 minutes longer than they originally released.. 2 whole freakin' hours of twilighty goodness!! which is just as close to heaven on earth that i can see right now!! this movie is going to turn towns inside out.. i can just see it now!! it's not entirely like Harry Potter.. but i think Twilight fans are much more ravenous.. and we will fight and scartch and bite and attack anyone who gets in our way.. ok.. i might stand off to the side and watch.. but still.. it'll be interesting to see what kind of animals this movie turns it's fans into on that opening weekend..

which reminds me.. kristin.. we're going to the show.. where and when during the weekend.. if there is a midnight showing do you want to do that on thursday night or just find a time during the weekend to watch it.. let me know.. it'll be mayhem.. and i think i might bring my ACU batting helmet just in case.. :)

so.. this morning.. i was going to post a whiney.. sad post about my old friend again.. yesterday was her birthday.. and even though we had that falling out the day after our wedding.. we have only talked about 3 times since then.. and it's been 15 months since casey and i got married.. anyway.. i called her to wish her a happy birthday.. and really... i don't know why i subject myself to this friendship.. or onesided friendship.. or whatever it is.. i was giving it a chance.. i don't know what else to do, i've taken the first step forward and she theoretically stepped back..

first she didn't even recognize my number.. which means that she either erased my number from her phone or she's gotten a new one and didn't have mine memorized to program it.. i really hope to god that it's the second one.. i'd hate to think that 15 years of friendship means pretty much nothing in the grand scheme of my lifetime.. i mean.. 15 years is more than half of my life.. so, i wished her a happy birthday after telling her who i was.. which is probably what bothers me the most of the whole conversation.. and then she asked the usual.. how are you.. fine.. you?.. good.. good.. pleasantries that we never had to do before.. but now it's awkward.. and strained.. i hate it.. of course she asks if we have any babies on the way yet.. and i stifle a laugh at her and say no.. not yet.. and then turn it around and ask her if she has any on the way.. just a quip.. not sure if she got it.. she's usually good about catching my sarcasm.. but it's probably even more difficult to tell now.. since my humor with her is dryer and not as playful anymore.. so yeah.. she was out to lunch with her parents so i just wished her a happy birthday again and left it at that.

now.. seriously.. it only bothers me because she seems completely unphased by the lack of communication between us.. and that's what hurts.. being "best friends" for 14 years and then on a misundertanding that was solely her fault.. :) ... we (she) calls it quits.. ok fine.. i'm done trying.. i hate feeling this way after talking to her.. so that's it.. i'm out...

i really wasn't planning on blogging all of this in light of the great news that casey and i got this morning.. we finally got the word about our town house!!!! you think you guys can fly in to help casey and i move into our townhouse, in 17 days?!?!?!?!? that's right.. november 1st.. we've got the ok to move in... and i couldn't be happier.. no really.. it might not be showing. but i swear.. on the inside i'm like a bundle of happy nerves.. i really can't wait.. it's going to be awesome.. and even though it's small.. it'll be great because it'll be ours and that's what is going to make it amazing..

yeah.. that's all.. join me in a happy dance!!!


You moved the tea!!!!!

bear with me...

i like to change the header of my blog a lot.. :)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

please don't read this.. it's not worth it..

i really don't have anything to blog about.. so i figure i'll just ramble on and on about random happenings in my life..

my sister and i have a standing agreement, if you will, to go get pedicures every few weeks. we hadn't gone since before k-luv's wedding, so we went last tuesday.. the ladies there are very nice and friendly. well, my sister and i went in there later in the evening, so there wasn't any other customers except one lady who was getting her nail polish removed or something.. well, my sister and i pick out our colors and go to the chairs they set up for us. and then there starts some kind of argument but not really between one of the ladies and the other customer. the lady wanted her to pay first before they did something. but i don't know if the customer girl took it as saying that she was going leave without paying or what.. it was all very uncomfortable.. i didn't see anything wrong with it.. if you pay first in full.. and then if you like what they did, add a little tip, that's no big deal, right? well she kind of got all fussy and left.. and then a few minutes pass and the lady that the girl argued with was doing my sister's nails and apologized for what happened earlier.. and told us that that girl had done that before or it's happened to them before where they removed the polish and the customer didn't pay.. like seriously.. you can't do that at home.. you have to pay?? i understand if you're going to get something else done, like another color, but just removal?? whatever.. lazy ho.

anyway.. i'm reading Something Blue getting really into it because it's at a good part, and i hear the lady doing my sister say.. "this is a beautiful color.. " and i hadn't been paying attention because when i look down to my sister's foot i see the brightest hot green neon color i've ever seen... brighter than neon signs.. and i start cracking up.. and then they all start cracking up and my sister gets all self conscious like.. wtf.. what's wrong with it.. and i could barely get out that i just didn't expect to see a color like that when i heard the girl say it was a beautiful color.. yes it's very nice.. but my eyes bugged out when i saw it and i couldn't help but laugh..

and that's all.. really not a lot going on with my life lately.. we're still waiting to hear about the townhouse.. casey's family had set up traps in the garage, and ended up catching three mice in one evening.. i heard two of the traps snap shut, but i just couldn't bring myself to go out there and look if the trap had gotten anything.. i figure if i hear it snap.. that's good enough for me..

plus, the other time they'd caught something a few months ago.. i was reading my book and i heard it snap, and i practically jumped out of my skin of scared the bejebus out of me.. and then i could still hear the little arm scratching at the trap trying to get free i imagine.. and that was enough.. i didn't need to see it.. i imagined it.. and i've been haunted by it ever since..

oh yeah.. it's fleet week in san francisco. the blue angels are in town, and at noon today they're going to start practicing all around the bay, flying the skies and what not.. i kind of want to go to the city this weekend to see it.. but it's just going to be so crowded and i have a baptism to go to on saturday for my cousin's baby boy.. but navy men and airforce guys all over the city.. what more could a girl want... to look at??? :)

anyway.. so yeah.. i really hope you didn't read that whole long thing. it really wasn't worth it.. if i could give those minutes of your life back.. i would..

and by the way.. NEW TWILIGHT TRAILER tonight!!!!


You moved the tea!!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pictures from my Texas weekend..

and wouldn't you know it.. i was in texas for 5 days and have ZERO pictures of Baby J! what the hell?!!?!

anyway.. here are some pictures of one of the craziest weekends i've ever had!! i love you girls!!