Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thank you for the music...

Music: Twilight.. of course..
Mood: awake Awake but so ready to pass out..

so.. today was thanksgiving.. and i have a lot to be thankful for... i have a wonderful family a great circuit of friends and so much love in my life.. i feel like i'm bursting with it sometimes.

my sister had to go to work this afternoon so casey and i went over to my parents house early this year.. which was insane, since usually my family has their dinners around 9 or 10... one time we sat down for dinner on new years eve right as the ball was dropping.. but i helped my mom cook and my whole family was there.. at it was really nice. we are almost never all together like that anymore.. especially since casey and i got married. i don't make it down to redwood city quite as often as i should anymore.

casey's family didn't make a big to do about the holiday. not this year anyway.. it's too difficult for everyone. this day last year.. casey's family came over and we had a homerun derby at the park down the road.. it was really fun to have us all together like that.. and now.. it'll never be like that again.. and it's kind of like a dark cloud over everything now.. but i really believe that lindsey would have wanted them to celebrate.. this was her absolute favorite time of the year.. so it's going to be really hard for his family this upcoming month..

but i don't vocalize how much i'm thankful for.. and i definitely want them all to know.. i even gave my brother a hug today.. and if you know how our relationship is.. eeps.. hugs are like non existent.. but it was nice.. i don't express my love for my family enough.. i turn things into sarcastic remarks and cut down on them.. but really. i love them more than anything. we have a strange dynamic, from the outside, it might seem like we are crass to one another.. but really it's all love. from the looks of irritation all the way down to the nicknames we've given each other.. it's all in good fun.. most of the time. :P

and i'm incredibly thankful for my friends, my four incredible friends.. we've kind of been bound together by twilight which makes me even more thankful for twilight.. we lost a little contact after we went our separate ways.. but twilight has brought us back into a tight little circle.. and i couldn't begin to express how good it is to call you girls my friends and kindred spirits.

and for the man in my life.. the one that makes my days brighter, even when we argue.. i couldn't have asked for a more perfect guy for me.. we compliment each other in the best ways.. and thank goodness i found him when i did.. or else.. i'd probably still be single. :)

and because i love them.. :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

it has come to my attention...

Music: Twilight Score.. Win!
Mood: Grumpy grumpy

it has come to my attention that a certain half shih tzu half pomeranian thinks that he is better than a certain scraggly shih tzu that is in my care. this both saddens and annoys the hell out of me!

This Man-Faced Dog right here thinks that he is better than my adorable grungy little penguin faced Stewie.

As quoted from Morty's representative, a one Kathleen Malkinson,

"Mortimer Ebenezar Esquire will be joining you guys for Thanksgiving dinner but he too is concerned about Tui's hygiene. Please see to it that he shakes off his fleas before he attempts to approach Mortimer Ebenzar Esquire Malkinson. Mortimer Ebenzar Esquire Malkinson is also concerned that Tui will try to share water with him. This is not acceptable behavior and it is up to you to make sure a respectable distance is kept between Mortimer Ebenzar Esquire and said mongrel. Many thanks for your cooperation and of course, Happy Thanksgiving =)"

this Mortimer Ebenezar.. Pssshhhaaa!! and Esquire?!?! Honestly?? this Chewbacca wanna-be thinks he's a decendent from Royalty. He thinks he's a Blue Blood where as Stewie would just be considered Blue Collar.

Well, "Mortimer Ebenezar" , Stewie has one thing to say to you .....

"Shush yo face! I'm gonna pee on your bed! You better watch your back and sleep with one eye open!"

Monday, November 24, 2008

silence! i kill you!

Music: Las Palmas - Bethany Joy Lenz, Christmas Canon - Transsiberian Orchestra

Mood: content content

so.. for anyone that doesn't know what the title means, obviously hasn't seen Jeff Dunham's stand up. he's the guy that plays with puppets.. he's the only puppetteer that i can watch. his "friends" don't freak me the hell out!

so.. i'm sitting in the living room, with my laptop and headphones in because casey and his brother are watching jeff dunham on blu-ray. and i swear the only reason i'm sitting here is because i love hearing casey laugh. he never laughs like this.. like serious laughing. it's adorable. the only times i see him laugh like this are when he's watching stand up or when he's with his family. usually when he laughs at me, it's more because i'm exasperating or he thinks i'm being cute. even if i'm not the cause of it. i still love seeing him like this..

so.. thursday is thanksgiving.. and my mom asked if stewie was coming.. and of course he's going to come with, i wouldn't leave for a holiday and not bring my Tu'i face. then she asks me if he's going to get a bath before he comes over. and i'm like.. "no! and he's going to sleep on your bed!" now keep in mind that my dog right now looks like a freakin' walking piece of gross smelling fur, because casey's other dog loves to use stewie as a chew toy. it's irritating. i will give him a bath and then in a few hours he'll smell like dog spit again.. bleah!

but yeah.. he's my baby.. and yeah.. this post had NO real reason. but i wanted to post something.. i'm supposed to go to see twilight sometime soon with casey, we'll see when that actually happens... he seems excited to see it.. me too.. but that's because i didn't get enough of emmett the first time around. :)

also.. my sister said that i had too many animations on my blog.. sorry.. i'll stop adding them.. she hurt my twilight heart.. :o/

have a great week!

You moved the tea!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

i can't concentrate....

Music: Pachelbel - Canon In D
Mood: frustrated Frustrated and Aggravated aggravated

for some reason.. i seriously cannot concentrate on anything today.

i'm thinking it's because of tonight.. but i wasn't even this whacked out the day before my wedding.. well no.. i take that back.. the day before my wedding i actually broke down and finally cried. i cried because of all the emotion that was building up in me. casey was like "WTH?? are you okay?" and i'm like yeah.. it's just about time that i finally let the emotions run out of me.. and of course.. it was crying like a blubbering child 5 minutes before the camera crew got there to interview casey and i about the wedding.. what a freakin' crazy disaster..

but yeah.. so i digress.. it's a different kind of feeling. although.. Pachelbel is making it easier to relax.. that's why i love classical music.. just listening to the different instruments coming together to make something so beautiful and meaningful.. it's amazing.. when i go to the symphony, it's more to watch the instruments than listen to them. i'm enthralled by the amount of talent and passion that musicians have for their craft.. it's amazing..

i don't know what's up with me.. i should be happy.. today has been a really good day.. casey is really the best person in the world for me.. there's no question about that.. he makes me feel loved ...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

what is there to say....

Music: Sheryl Crow - My Favorite Mistake
Mood: Photobucket Annoyed and Discontent Photobucket

what do you do when someone you know is just having one of those days where they can do nothing but tear up.. and when they look at you with those teary eyes and try and plaster a watery smile on their lips, what do you do? there is nothing you can do for them... how do you handle that?? well i'll tell you how i handle that...

i sit there.. with a blank look.. i completely freeze up.. i don't know how to comfort anyone. it doesn't come naturally to me to be overly touchy except for with casey and that's only because of who he is to me.. i'm an awkward hugger. i listen okay. even though i pride myself on being a great listener.. my mind wanders when people talk to me. my mind is easily distractable. i'm inappropriate and clumsy.

but no matter how volatile the relationship with the person.. i still feel awful that i can't console them or even say comforting words. i end up saying something crass or untoward.. which only puts more strain on the conversation and situation. i can't help it.. it's a defense mechanism. what i'm defending against i have no idea. but it's how i deal. either i'll close up and distance myself from any and everybody or i'll become the one that is so inappropriate it's laughable.. usually it's the former.. and i can't help it.. i'm awkward and misunderstood..

for someone who wants kids as badly as i do.. it's unnerving to know that i can only comfort one person in my life.. how is that maternal? how does that fair for my future PossibleChildren?


Saturday, November 1, 2008

the obsession continues....

would you guys think less of me, if the next time we all got together to hang out i busted this out???

tee hee... i'm just kidding.. i probably won't get it.. probably..

you moved the tea!!!!!