Saturday, October 17, 2009


Mood: fucking bored
Music: whack ass tunes. Please. Ear plugs.

The more you push me the more I'll pull back. I realized this he other
day when someone I know kept somewhat forcing their help on me. If
that's what they're doing, for some reason, and it's weird that I can
actually feel myself do it. I emotionally cut myself off from that
person for awhile. I become short and I purposely give clipped answers
don't ask my why i do it. i'm a psych major and i can't figure it out

And it's not even that I was pissed that they were offering to help.
It was more that I kind of pride myself on being fiercely independent.
I don't usually like to depend on people for things. When I have to,
it's usually forced by myself because I just need to get over my
neurosis. But it takes a lot.

And then like when I really needed the help, like with the condo. They
kept asking me, well when should we come over? and when can we help?
These are questions I can't answer. I am awful at delegation. Telling
people what to do for me is something I'm not good at. Not that I
don't think them capable of getting the job done, an it's not I can't
pass over control. I don't really like control. It makes me anxious.
But for my wedding for example. I ended up doing a lot of the stuff
mostly bc I couldn't tell people what to do. It's a character flaw
that I dislike in myself.

Meh... Anyways.. I'm at work. And I've been here since 330. Even
though I didn't need to even get there until 5. Bah!! I've been bored
all day. They have a keg that I'm pouring and they're still not
drinking. This is ridiculousness. I only have about a year or so left
on paying off my car. Now then, if only I wasn't working for my mom,
it'd be easier to quit after that.

Meh... I also hate when people bring their own alcohol. It pisses me
off so fucking much.

Val from IPhonezy
You moved the tea!!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. this is why we are one in the same. and are you alluding to who i think you are alluding to?


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